It's strange how things always appear 20/20 when you look back on them. I am humbled when I think about the decisions that I've made and how the ultimate outcome might have been different. There really isn't a moment that I can pinpoint exactly and say "this is why this happened", but there are definitely decisions that I can say I wish I would've made differently. On my last day with Youthworks our boss told us not to reflect on things too much, but I think that it is something has to be done to some degree. Sure you can drive yourself crazy if you live in the past, but it is also beneficial when you can stop pointing the finger at other people and start pointing the finger at yourself. I admit that lately I've been looking at things from only my perspective and I haven't taken the time to really see the other view. Today I spoke with one of my friends who really helped me to see my own mistakes. It's humbling when you find yourself no longer in the "right" and begin to find yourself in the wrong. I have been looking at some things in the wrong way and for that I apologize.
I do not doubt that it was God's plan for me to go to Bangladesh, nor do I doubt that it was God's plan for me to come back. I feel that everything happened for a reason. My experience overseas was a blessing and I loved being able to meet new people and experience new things. I am also glad that I worked for a great international church though I now see that it wasn't the right fit for me. I loved my experience there and the people I got to work with. Although I don't see myself working for a church again, I still want to stay active in ministry and I'd love to go overseas again to do missions work. I got the chance to talk with the youth group I grew up with this last week. It was great to see how God is working there and I loved being able to tell the kids about the experiences God has given me. Overall it reminded me of how God continues to use our experiences to grow us into the people He wants us to be. So long as we continue to seek and trust in Him, He will lead us to where He wants us to be. It's important to keep in mind though that the path isn't as direct as we sometimes think it ought to be.